I had planned to write about my new expanded hunting vocabulary from a trip to my in laws this past week but my dedicated following of fans will have to wait another day for that run through. Instead the oh so inspired hiring of Lane Kiffin by USC has provided me with the opportunity to share my brilliant views on this fiasco which seems to be another “quality” hire by athletic director Mike Garrett who thrives on name hirings with little substance.
Just so happens that I was on the phone when Lane and Mike were speaking in late December about Lane leaving Knoxville and returning to Trojan land… “Mike I truly want to be the head TROJAN MAN but we really need to wait until 31 December when my daddy’s retention bonus of $300,000 is given to him. Any time after that and you can name me the new head coach at USC. Also I would like a clause written in my contract that if I go 9-6 in 2010 I get my own special bonus since that is my best won-loss record to date. The other demand I have is that we find a more auspicious manner in which to pay off our players. I discovered that leaving an envelope of cash and a new car for Reggie worked well to make him happy but seems the NCAA has kinda sorta caught on. Take care of all of my requests Mike and you can call me TROJAN MAN”.
A few nights ago the fans in Tennessee rioted over Kiffin leaving, but I prefer to view it as a celebration of good riddance. Tennessee took a chance on Kiffin who repaid them by remaining a whopping 14 months in Knoxville, leaving recruits dreams in tatters, a trail of secondary violations, a feud with Urban Meyer, 3 players arrested for armed robbery, an average record of 9-6 and his daddy’s pockets lined with enough green to run the Hofstra football program. Tennessee is a program with history, tradition, fans and money to keep any coach happy. If you are a good enough coach you can win a national championship at Tennessee and so Tennessee fans you should be happy to rid yourselves of a coach that will step on and climb over anyone to get to where he is going, loyalty be damned.
Mike Garrett always goes for name and flash when it is time to hire coaches. He proved it when he hired Michael Cooper for the women’s basketball job in June allowing him to start coaching at the end of September even though he had never coached at the college level. Cooper inherited a team of talent that should have been marching him into the Sweet 16 (maybe even the Final 4) but with a record of 9-6 that hardly seems likely.
Tim Floyd brought the men’s program back into the national spotlight by snagging the great OJ Mayo for a large handful of cash. Floyd and Mayo are in the NBA having a blast, while this year’s basketball team is left with their playoff dreams snatched from their hands as USC has announced self imposed sanctions for cheating when Mayo was playing. Sweet huh?
Seems to me that Mike Garrett is right on track with the Kiffin hire.
For now I would love it if someone formed a committee to oversee Mike Garrett
