Several weeks ago I stopped by the Sports Byline offices to say hello to Ron Barr and left fifteen pounds heavier, with seven books relating to sports in my possession. As a voracious reader I was absolutely thrilled, but I am sure it was much to the dismay of my husband. He knew it would require his falling asleep with the lamp on and listening to my grumbling the next morning because I stayed up too late reading. Every topic was covered; from Woody Hayes to Mike Mussina to the Olympics. For the most part I managed to get through each book in several days, but one book I kept putting off to read.
Hero of the Underground, by Jason Peter, was deposited off to the side without any legitimate reason as to why I didn’t want to read the book. Conceivably, it was because I knew his brother Christian Peter had played for the NY Giants, but had been arrested 8 times while at the University of Nebraska. Perhaps subconsciously I didn’t want to read another story about a professional athlete who justified his inappropriate actions, even though he had been provided (and worked hard to obtain) every opportunity to have a successful life.
Finally, I gave in and picked up Hero of the Underground. Regrettably, for several hours last weekend I was of no use to my husband. Once I picked up the book, I could not put it down. Jason Peter makes absolutely no apologies for his inadequate choices, he places responsibility on no one but himself and in the process provides one of the most straightforward insights into his life as a high school, college and eventually professional athlete. His ability to make decisions concerning drugs was hindered immensely as his body broke down through football and then allowed him to ingest more drugs than is possible for the majority of the human population. I actually felt discomfort and nausea (could possibly be attributed to 8.5 months of pregnancy) as I read his in-depth accounts of life and his downward spiral from All-America, Co-captain of a National Championship team, first round draft pick in the NFL and finally ex-NFL player. He chronicles his drug use with such clarity and detail it is almost difficult to accept that he was high on cocaine or heroin because his recall is so astoundingly detailed.
Jason Peter writes his story of every kid’s dream turning into every parent’s nightmare with absolute brutal honesty. I am not condoning his choices in life, but rather applauding him for having the guts to put into words what most people would never admit to themselves, let alone their family or the public. His story kept leading me back to the same question: is the adulation and God like status heaped on players at major athletic programs leaving some with the feeling that there is nowhere to go but down? Graduation for most college students provides a time of excitement and opportunity, but the majority of college athletes are facing a life without the adoration and hero worship to which they have grown accustomed. Are college athletes ill prepared to face the reality of everyday life after their athletic careers conclude? Or is this oversimplifying the reactions of spoiled athletes?
One summer I worked basketball camp where several former Final Four participants were also working. One of them was a lost soul whose only intent was to see how unbelievably intoxicated and high he could become each day after camp. In passing, he mentioned to several counselors how life had never been the same since he graduated; that after his college experience there wasn’t much left to look forward to in life. By the time camp ended he had been checked into the hospital, where fortunately he still had many people with a vested interest in helping him. As I went home I was struck with sadness that this poor man truly believed there was nothing left to look forward to in life.
After reading Hero of the Underground, I couldn’t sleep for most of the night because my brain was incapable of shutting down, while trying to process and rationalize the Jason Peter story. At the end of the day, Jason Peter is one of the lucky ones who had the strength, desire and money to fund his recovery and somehow survive. Certainly a must read for any current or former college athlete who is preparing to meet the everyday world.
For now I am going to make up on some lost sleep!
good post, Liz. So true about many athletes. When our identity gets wrapped up in our performance and what the world thinks of us b/c of our success (or non success), life can seem hopeless after all is said and done. Hopefully young athletes will read the forementioned book and realize that the sport they play doesn’t have to be who they are, it can simply be something they do.
I’ll definitely check that book out! I agree with what you said. Although I never turned to drugs, it was difficult to think of myself as something other than a basketball player. That was my identity for so long and what I was known for! I think you write so well, and I look forward to reading everything you put out there!
Must be nice to have money!